Big Leaps & First Steps

 April 5th, 2015

Barcelona, Spain

I’m in my bedroom, my new bedroom. It’s 6:00pm and the sun is out there somewhere. I know because there’s still day light but no sunlight waving through my window.

My new balcony is lovely. I love balconies. I get really inspired in them, they make me think, go out of perspective away from the world and into it again.

Crisis In Spain 2

This is all part of a bigger plan.

One that has no clear beginning, or one that has so many of them instead. I could say however that this began after a trip to Thailand, a few months ago. Coming back to Spain was the certainty of knowing how I needed to leave this place: my home for several years. I felt it and I just knew.

Decisions are felt, not made.

Since then, I started thinking and thinking. Being surprised by my own thoughts even though I knew them without ever seeing them. I began putting ideas on paper, then into a calendar with dates and numbers. It all slowly, excitedly and almost impossibly became my reality.

I needed this. I needed to leave home. Again. I had evolved and something else was calling me out there.

One decision lead to the next one and that’s how I went from one flat of my own to a shared one. One that would allow me to save the money I needed for the Big Plan.

October 22nd, 2015 – Madrid, Spain

It’s been seven months after I moved into that shared flat with the lovely balcony. I’m in Madrid now, writing for a little while at a wonderful coffee shop with the perfect ambience music and noise level. It’s been two months since my Big Plan began. Since I left Barcelona after almost six years, and into the unknown just because my gut told me to. Oooh the gut just knows! It’s my compass. No secret it should be everyone’s compass but maybe it’s not as obvious for many.

During these two months of travel I’ve been mostly in Spain and the UK. Different scenarios and all quite familiar in weird ways…almost to the point of no-challenge. I must accept it has been making me feel twitchy about life, slightly confused of the new normal and occasionally blocked from my own thoughts and feelings. Too many of them? Probably so. But conversations with good friends who have been through the same path have given me some peace of mind. So I come back to my usual brain-talks in order to ease the occasional yet persistent annoyance of these days.

This is my journey now and I need to write about it.

It’s crispy sunny outside and the skies are blue like they haven’t been in days. I keep learning and relearning things about myself. I hope this never stops. I’ve learned that I’m solar powered, that my mood depends a lot on sunshine. I understand now, after going away from Barcelona, how that place is perfect for me no matter the season – despite the mental, emotional and social tiredness I felt through the last months. Every single noise on the street annoyed me no matter how many stories up high I was. I just wanted to desperately leave as my plan was moving forward in huge and unexpectedly good steps.

Journals allow me to keep emotional track, just like travel apps allows us keep track of our money.

I know myself, even more during the last three years when the most important processes of my life have taken place: a surgery, a divorce, a life abroad, an own-business aspiration, a writer’s bug inside just growing larger and larger, and so many others I could mention. Grateful for every single one of them as they brought me to this point; to this table at Pepe Botella Café in Madrid today.

Writing is therapeutic too, did you know? Even if it wasn’t scientifically backed up, I know it through personal experience. Writing eases my mind, makes me understand, heal and move forward. If some useful stories come out from this, then why not share them? So that’s what I decided to do in this personal section.

2015 is the year I quit my job in order to travel indefinitely and turns out that I’m building an online business too, while doing what I know best and what I want the most. Makes perfect sense indeed. Feels right. And I have no fear.

There is no perfect traveller “live your passion” dream life. Hard work, true self-knowledge and determination is what there is.

The journey has begun. The leap of faith has been taken!

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I’ve found myself wanting to read other’s feelings from their own entrepreneur journeys, but haven’t had any luck. This is how I decided to create the Entrepreneur’s Journal to document my process. It might help or inspire others, who knows. I just know that so far it would help me read such things in specific days.  Writing my experience is my way to understand as I live, and to share as I go.

If you’re on a similar path, just thinking about it, or doubtful and not finding useful reads on the emotional side of big leaps of faith – besides the logistics of it all – then welcome to this Entrepreneur’s Journal: daily life, thoughts and emotions of my entrepreneurial process. Since I didn’t find any articles on this topic to help me cope through the first months, I decided to create them.

Welcome to this new life. Welcome to join me.

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This blog was born as a regular travel blog six years ago, growing into the senses and finally evolving into something else, more honest and more personal at times. It will still be about travel – but no to-do lists or what to sense about a place. It will be a travel and life journal. As sincere as I feel it inside. As thoughtful, analytic and critic as it flows through my head and chest.

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